My name is Olivia and today I have decided to stop the pill.
Not because I want to get pregnant, not because I was not feeling well on it, but simply because I am sick of taking it.
To give you a little background on my situation, I have been taking the pill for the past 2 years now. But have been on and off for the past 6 years. I started in 2004 and took it for two years. Then I stopped. And then I got back on it. Why did I start again? Because I was sick and tired of my acne. Ok I'll put things into perspective. I never really had very bad acne, but bad enough to be a constant annoyance. I've especially had bacne (which is acne on the back) and then some on my face. But my biggest issue was the bacne.
So to continue my story, I got off the pill in 2004 and then got back on it in 2006 when I started going out with my boyfriend. I didn't want him to know me with the acne.
But my boyfriend is a very pro-health pro-natural person, so he encouraged me to get off of it again in 2007. And so I did, and the acne came back.
That was probably the worst acne I've had, I'm not quite sure why, perhaps because I was very stressed out, but it got so bad on my face. I constantly had 4-5 large pimple on the side of my cheeks and they would leave scars. But I refused to get back on the pill. As depressed as I was, I was determined to make it better, one way or another. At that point, I was basically ready to live with the acne and the bacne and just figure it out as I go.
The reason why I decided to start the pill again in 2009 was because of a pregnancy scare. After this very traumatizing event, I made up my mind. I would be on the pill until I could assume the consequences of getting pregnant. I did not want to risk having to even consider giving up a potential baby. So I started taking the pill again in the summer of 2009.
This time, it was hard to get back on it. I felt like it was against what my body wanted and I went through a phase of feeling restless/depressed and anxious until my body got used to it. It took about 2-3 cycles and then I was good to go.
And so I've been happily on the pill for the past 2 years and a half. But happily is not exactly the right word. I was happy when I didn't think about the fact that I was taking it, but every single day when came the time to take it, I have that silly annoying voice in the back of my head telling me to stop, this is not right, don't do it. Yet, I ignore the damn voice and took the pill. And then everything was ok. I would ignore it and live happily not worrying about my acne, not worrying about getting pregnant, until the next day when I had to take it again.
Tonight, I have decided to stop because I'm sick of turning down my inner voice. Even now, as I am writing this, the voice of fear, on the other side of my head is freaking out. It's telling me: what are you thinking, you're gonna get the acne back, you won't be as beautiful, don't stop it. Basically it seems it's a constant struggle between the right and the left side of my head. But today I am listening to the true voice, the one I know is right. The one that does not fear but believes in the power of nature.
So tonight I am not taking the pill.
But along the way I have learned a few things. There is a reason why our body produces acne and by hiding it with the pill, all we are doing is hiding something we should be taking care of.
So I have decided to get out of this with grace this time. I am going to load up on vitamins, drink lots of water and eat healthy, and we shall see who will win this time.
The purpose of this blog is to document my everyday activities in order to share with you girls out there, who have the very same issue as me, and encourage you to make that big move. I know we can have a better life without these freaking hormones.
Right now, I have 2 pimples on my face, one on my forehead and one near my eyebrow. I also have a few on my back but nothing on my arms or shoulders.
Also, FYI in order to wash my face and back, I will be using Effaclar from La Roche Posay. After washing my face, I will be wiping a Tea Tree Oil diluted in water over my problem areas.
I wash my face twice a day and my back once a day.
I will also take a whole lot of vitamins and if all this works I shall share my knowledge with all of you.
Last but not least, I will try whenever possible to use natural shampoo and no conditioner as it is known to clog pores and cause more bacne and NO fabric softener anywhere cause it also causes breakouts.
If I do all this and manage to keep my acne at bay I will detail everything step by step for all of you to do it with me :)